Abortion

Do you generally support pro-choice or pro-life legislation?

Let me state, FOR THE RECORD, that I am 100% AGAINST all FORCED abortions. Furthermore, let me say , ANYONE forcing a WOMAN to undergo an ABORTON, against her will, should be PERSECUTED. I FIRMLY BELIEVE that every fetus MUST be REQUIRED to give it's FULL CONSENT before being born. Until such time we can FULLY INFORM said fetuses, of what is in store for them, ABORTION is really, one of the few 'OPT OUTs' for those fetusi who choose against BIRTH. For the sake of FUTURE fetuses, we MUST protect , safe , legal ABORTIONs for all. Amen.

Budget, Spending, and Taxes

Indicate which proposals you support (if any) for balancing the federal budget. In order to balance the budget.

Do you support reducing defense spending?
Do you support an income tax increase on any tax bracket?
Do you support reducing Medicaid spending?
Do you support reducing Medicare spending?
Is balancing the budget an administrative priority?

It is a FREE pony? program.
It costs NOTHING.
(There may be some inciDENTAL administrative costs involving such entitlements as the Universal Pony Health Care System, Social Pony Security , and the Federal Hay Stamp Program.) Americans are chomping at the bit, to HAPPILY SURRENDER financial autonomy. So 'pony up', these GREATLY increased FREEDOM , LIBERTY , and 'LOVE AMERICA ' Assesments. These increases in your FREEDOM are required to giddyup the ABSOLUTELY FREE FEDERAL PONY IDENTIFICATION PROGRAM (AFPIP). By taxing the 1% at 1% , and taxing the 99% at 99%, we create a MORE FAIR and EQUITABLE America.

Campaign Finance

Do you support the regulation of indirect campaign contributions from corporations and unions?

As with EVERYTHING in the MARKETplace of AMERICAN AWESOMENESS the INVISIBLE hand of DEMOCRACY must be allowed to function in an UNFETTERED fashion , and that certainly includes SPEECH, which is MONEY, and corporations which are PEOPLE, and they SHOULD be allowed the right to VOTE. If I UNDERSTAND correctly, if I receive $5kUS from each of TEN states, I'm eligible for MATCHING FUNDS on the TAXPAYERS DIME. Would that be affected by this so called finance REFORM ? "Ask NOT what democracy can do for YOU, ask what YOU can do for DEMOCRACY....."

Capital Punishment

Do you support capital punishment for certain crimes?

Are judges and juries, GOVERNMENT SPONSORED DEATH PANELS, that SARAH PALIN warned us about?
Is capital punishment now OBOMNEYCARE ?
If so, I must be PRO-CHOICE on the DEATH PENALTY Tax.

The DETERRENT value, of the ultimate DEATH tax , for petty CRIMEs, is documented.
It's true POICE have DISCRETION, in extrajudicial, accidental killings .
A Supreme administration will offer CLEAR GUIDELINES, which petty crimes are subject to EXTRAJUDICIAL EXECUTIONS.

"Government ... can't be trusted to control its own bureaucrats or collect taxes equitably or fill a pothole, much less decide which of its citizens to kill." - Helen Prejean

Economy

Do you support federal spending as a means of promoting economic growth? Do you support providing tax incentives to businesses for the purpose of job creation? Do you support spending on infrastructure projects for the purpose of job creation? Do you support the 2010 temporary extension of unemployment benefits? Do you support the 2010 temporary extension of tax relief?

The switch to a Pony Based Economy (PBE) will revolutionize the way America does business. Ponies create American jobs. Ponies will revitalize America. Ponies are a green transportation solution. Ponies produce usable methane gas. Ponies lower our dependance on foreign oil. Ponies create an abundant source of pony based fertilizer. Ponies are the future of America. Ponies are a viable currency for goods and services. Ponies have little tiny carbon hoof prints. Ponies are a renewable resource. Ponies are nice. Ponies are recyclable. Ponies are cute. Ponies are delicious.

Education

Do you support requiring states to implement education reforms in order to be eligible for competitive federal grants?

Data is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom.- Clifford Stoll
30 school children = one janitor = colonies on the moon = Newt Gingrich
Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. - Edward Everett
An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.- Russell Baker
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.- Aristotle

Environment and Energy

Do you believe that human activity is contributing to climate change? Do you support the federal regulation of greenhouse gas emissions? Do you support reducing restrictions on offshore energy production?

America's FUTURE DEPENDS on it's ABILITY to HARNESS it's BIGGEST environMENTAL challenge.
America's TRANSITION , from fossil fuels to PONYTOPIA , requires forward thinking INNOVATION.
VISUALISE... a vision of SECURE , modern , UNDERGROUND FACILITIES , dotting the countryside , HUMMING along, producing safe , CLEAN , efficient , CARBON NEUTRAL energy.
We will harness the AWESOME power of ZOMBIES , by UTILIZING the latest GIANT , HAMSTER-wheel , turbine TECHNOLOGY. This will ASSURE America's energy FUTURE .
The TECHNOLOGY is INFALLIBLE . There has NEVER been an accidental ZOMBIE release , in a FEMA licensed Zombie Turbine Facility.

Foreign Policy

Do you support United States' combat operations in Afghanistan? Do you support a timetable for withdrawal from Afghanistan? Do you support targeting suspected terrorists outside of official theaters of conflict?

Those concerned, that a Federal Free Pony Program will saddle America with more debt, be assured, that my All-Out-War-on-the-Godless-Red-Chinese-[...]-In-Order-To-ReCapture-Our-National-Debt-and-Manufacturing-Base-Initiative (AOWOTGRCBIOTRCONDaMBI) will serve the duel purpose of erasing our national debt, and lowering our trade deficit by raining down loads of US made bombs, on the aforementioned Godless Chinese [...].The ? AOWOTGRCBIOTRCONDaMB Initiative? will pay for itself, and Dim Sum !
In summation ,
1. Free Ponies for everyone.
2. No new taxes.
3. Economic prosperity.

Guns

Do you support restrictions on the purchase and possession of guns?

Happiness is a warm gun(Bang bang, shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun(Bang bang, shoot shoot)
[ Some people say we cannot afford both butter and guns .]
When I hold you in my arms(Oh yeah)
[ I say, we can take the butter, if we have the guns .]
And I feel my finger on your trigger(Ooooh yeah)
I know nobody can do me no harm(Ooooh yeah)
[ Friendly fire is happy fire.]
Because happiness is a warm gun mama
[ Mind control, not gun control. ]
(Bang bang, shoot shoot) Happiness is a warm gun, yes it is

Health Care

Do you support repealing the 2010 Affordable Care Act? Should individuals be required to purchase health insurance, as mandated in the 2010 Affordable Care Act?

In order to bring it into line, with US policy on infrastructure, DEFERRED MAINTENANCE , will be America's official HEALTH CARE policy. MANDATORY TOOTHBRUSHING LAWS will keep America SMILING. Unwell American's will be placed in a DOG CARRIER, strapped to the roof of MITT ROMNEY's, car, and driven to Canada. My Universal Elf Care Plan will ASSURE that all good little girls and boys will continue to receive annual elf-made PRESENTS. Mine is the only HEALTH CARE that includes the cost of RAISING THE DEAD. They say LAUGHTER IS the BEST MEDICINE. So LAUGH yourself well, you sick [...].

Immigration

Do you support requiring illegal immigrants to return to their country of origin before they are eligible for citizenship? Do you support allowing illegal immigrants, who were brought to the United States as minors, to pursue citizenship without returning to their country of origin? Do you support the enforcement of federal immigration law by state and local police?

When I am president of America there will be NO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS allowed within America's borders. Presenting my NEW Destroying Illegals Creating More FREEDOM Loving AMERICANS Act (CMFLAA). By legalizing all illegals , the problem of ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS can be ELIMINATED, ONCE AND FOR ALL, With the STROKE of MY MAGIC PEN, this, I will do. MORE American CITIZENS living, and LOVING, the American DREAM. MORE American CITIZENS paying taxes, and being PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS of our SOCIETY. Anybody trying to sneak across the border will be APPREHENDED, tagged, given CITIZENSHIP, and released. Amen. USA !! USA !! USA !!

Same-Sex Marriage

Do you support same-sex marriage?

As Rick Santorum has pointed out, MAN ON DOG copulation is RUNNING RAMPANT in America As Mr.' SANTORUM' ,(google it,) has said, that for the sake of the PUPPIES , it is IMPERATIVE that we legalize these previously UNHOLY UNIONS . As your president, I would outlaw MARRIAGE, and replace it with something else. Something between FRIENDS with BENEFITS and a yearly renewable co-habitation contract. What better way to say ' I LOVE YOU.', than re-upping your yearly marriage-equivilant contract.

Much depends on the compatibility of all PONIES involved .

Social Secuity

Do you support allowing individuals to divert a portion of their Social Security taxes into personal retirement accounts?

During the SHOCK TRANSITION to a PONY BASED ECONOMY, there will be many hardships. We will use SOCIAL SAFETY NETS to catch, and contain, the POOR PEOPLE. CITIZENS will be allowed to use portions of their SocSecTax on LOTTERY TICKETS. My new Discount DOGFOOD for Seniors Program, will not only subsidize the PONY carcass processing INDUSTRY, it will assure affordable PROTIEN in all senior households, those with pets, and those without .

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich and the poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."- Anatole France

Administrative Priorities

Please explain in a total of 100 words or less, your top two or three priorities if elected. If they require additional funding for implementation, please explain how you would obtain this funding.

Implementing Mandatory Toothbrushing Laws.

Delivering Glitter Ponies to all Americans.
Going back in time. Killing Hitler.
Opinions expressed, in this survey, do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Vermin Supreme, (especially controversial ones).
In fact, these responses came from very old newsletters.
Just because his name was on them , doesn't mean he ever read them.
So please, stop asking questions about them.

Vermin Supreme reserves the right to deny everything.
Butter, Ballots, or Bailouts. The choice is yours.
Vote Vermin or else.
Together , We Can Turn up the Brightness Knob, of the Future , Tomorrow , Today .